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Stars Need Clear Labelling

With Bethan working in London, during the week it is just Hobbes and I at home. While Hobbes is great company on his morning walk he does have limitations during the evening when all he tends to do is stretch out in front of the fire. His evening contribution tends to be a gaseous product of his dog food diet and I can guarantee this cannot be classed as quality entertainment. This leaves me with the television to pass my lonely evenings. I am not a great fan of television. Without sounding like an elderly curmudgeon, there’s never anything on. I am not into any of the plethora of soap operas and reality shows don’t float my boat either. Mindful of this, Bethan had left me a DVD that she had already seen for me to catch up on during the week. I settled myself down for a movie night to watch this star-studded film. The cast included Jack Nicholson (who I think has never made a duff film), Matt Damon and Leonardo DiCaprio. The film was “The Departed” and was a classic Good Cop (Leonardo), Bad Cop (Matt) battling with / against Italian Mobster (Jack).

Now I have a problem. It is a genetic problem and therefore entirely of my parents’ making. This attitude to hereditary limitations is a great indemnity against being at fault for anything and over the years has served me well. I have the worst facial recognition and facial recall of anyone I have met, met & forgotten or likely to meet.

I watched The Departed with increasing confusion for almost half an hour until I realised that Matt Damon and Leonardo DiCaprio were playing two different characters. To you and a thousand others they may look very different but to me they were identical twins. I then had to start the movie again with an improved understanding. It’s not a bad film but it is certainly not Jack’s best and without ruining the ending for you everyone dies!

While my poor facial differentiation may cause me insignificant movie confusion, being unable to differentiate between products and services can lead to such frustration that potential customers simply don’t bother. On www.HearingDirect.com we have built comparison tables for Hearing Aids, comparison table for Mobile Phones, Corded Phones and Cordless Phones but better than all of that if you are still unsure which product is going to be best for you we have a Freephone number on the end of which is are people who are whizzes at helping people correctly choose. Items are clearly labelled with features, prices and scales of loudness, and there are product pictures with each. Now if only movie stars were so clearly identifiable, I could enjoy DVDs more often rather than relying on a windy Spaniel for entertainment.

One thought on “Stars Need Clear Labelling”

  • Lorna ForresterPaton 23rd March 2011 at 3:25 am

    Hi Stuart, I was amazed to read about your problem with facial discrimination. I think you may now have met [virtually] someone whose difficulty in this area equals your own. I have never met anyone with the problem. I have long suspected that it must be a brain dysfunction and then a while back heard this confirmed on a TV program. Watching films which I love, has been hugely difficult for me all my life because of this issue of the men, in particular, all looking alike so often ! Have you learned any useful information about the condition. BTW, you are not deaf yourself are you ? Just wondered in case there is a possibility that it is related to recessive genetic nerve deafness = which I have ?? Like your site BTW - and your style, Best wishes, Lorna

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